yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
