I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
