Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
