And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
