last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
