That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
