No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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