actually, I'm a sock model
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need moral support for this bender
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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