What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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