I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize