2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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