Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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