Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
