My sheets look like a crime scene.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
