Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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