im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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