Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
