Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
