How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
