Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
