You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
