I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
