well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
