i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
