last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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