Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
