Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
