it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize