Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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