Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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