Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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