He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
