dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ketchup is God's man juice
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
