Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
