I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
