Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
