You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We are two peas in an std pod
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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