marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
