Heybabeimwearingurpanties
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
