i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
