I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize