so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
