drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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