We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
