Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
