My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
