I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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