wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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