Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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