Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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