found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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