That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
