Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
