The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You left your phone here
Wait...
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