3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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