Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
