you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
