i wish my penis had a tongue
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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