just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Too much gin, very little bucket
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
