If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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