He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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