So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
