What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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