I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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