I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
