In the future we'll all be gay
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
