I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
