it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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