i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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