Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize